16 Signs You Belong to The Lineage of The Forbidden Feminine

forbidden: Old English for “to command against”

The Forbidden Feminine is a lineage of devotion to the feminine consciousness that has been erased, demonized, and hidden underneath centuries of dogma, ideology, and fear.

She is a real lineage, not metaphor — found in the graveyards of hysteria, diagnosis, and distorted cultural doctrine.

She cannot be explained by the mind. She can only be remembered through the body.

She is the memory you carry in your writhing hips, your ravenous hunger, and your holy refusal to stay small. She is the way that you have been broken and pierced by life, and still rise, again and again, in all of your feral, absurd glory.

She is the Mythic Mother of all thee bad outlaw bitches of the spiritual realm.

She is the OG erotic blueprint.

1. they’re all love and light, while you’re blood and guts

you are turned off and uninspired by the love and light crowd. you do not resonate with white light and clean lines and eternal calmness and halos and ideals of balance, or peace.

you are turned on by the dirty, the naughty, the dark, the bitchy, the outlawed, the dangerous.

you get hot for the feral, for what is considered taboo, or strange, or forbidden.

“healing” has failed you.

“spirituality” bores you to death.

you belong to the wild. you love being a walking scandal.

and you cannot even help yourself.

2. your whole life has felt like a never ending dark night of the soul

you have become acquainted with suffering seemingly more than most people.

you have a great capacity for grief.

you have been utterly pierced by life and stripped of comfort by one trial after the other. you exist in a wild territory where no therapist, no doctor, and no pill has satisfying answers for you.

you feel you have entered a realm that cannot be reversed, like the opening of Pandora’s box.

this brings about great helplessness and terror, but also an uncanny sense of remembrance and ecstasy.

3. you have enough life force to power an entire city

your body produces enough electric voltage that would fry most people’s circuits. you feel everything with the utmost intensity.

you feel like you are burning alive while the rest of the world feels shallow, lifeless and dull. this intensity is both terrifying and ecstatic.

any solid ground you once had has dissolved.

everything you once knew for certain has disappeared.

you feel so electrified you wonder if you are going mad

and “going mad” might actually entice you, because somewhere deep down you know you are not losing your mind, but being initiated into something you can’t quite put a finger on.

there is Divine order within your chaos.

4. you belong nowhere in modern society; you feel like you are walking between worlds

you are a Great Cosmic Orphan. you belong nowhere.

you no longer have interest in politics, religion, or organized institutions. you might disdain them.

you feel exiled, and experience an existential sense of homelessness and loneliness. you try to “fix” yourself, but it never works.

there is a sense of walking between worlds. nothing offered to you in society feels even remotely satisfying.

you love the Earth like a Mother, but society feels fake, like a great big cosmic joke of what it means to be truly human.

you’ve spent years trying to contort yourself into “normalcy,” but your soul keeps breaking the mold, even when you hate yourself for it.

you toggle between feeling shame and feeling superior to everyone else for being different. neither is true.

and that difference is your birthright.

5. you have been scapegoated and called crazy countless times

there is a sense of deep rejection by culture at large. you feel deeply ostracized and shunned by systems that should provide belonging - such as family, religion, typical relationships.

you have been called crazy or demonic or labeled with a disorder simply for being yourself.

you may have been institutionalized.

you feel like you are living in an entirely different Universe than most of the world around you. and you are.

you were told that you were disordered.

but what if you’re just… ordered by a different cosmos?

6. you are a truth speaker; the one who always calls out the elephant in the room

you can’t not speak the truth. and you speak, when most would stay silent.

what people call “being brave” is literally just your ordinary way of being.

you’d rather risk exile and abandonment than staying in spaces that suffocate your soul or ask you to betray yourself.

you are more comfortable, happily, being alone, than living in a lie.

you hate inauthenticity.

you refuse to perform belonging.

this has gotten you into “trouble."

and by god, do you love trouble.

7. you have an insatiable appetite for aliveness. you will not settle for a half-life, no matter what it costs you

you have been told by people to just be grateful for what you have.

but you cannot stop reaching for more. more aliveness, more fullness, more pleasure, more truth, more experience, more luxury, more of yourself.

you hunger for the fullness and riches of life and crave the kind of mystical knowledge that feels forbidden.

your biggest fear is wasting your potential, rotting in comfort.

you don’t want comfort. you want glory. you want the thrill. a bone-deep purpose. a heroines journey.

a real life.

8. you receive immense pleasure from making a mockery of illusions and exposing lies

you are a Great Destroyer of illusions. and this turns. you. on.

maybe it is through your art, or your words, or your very way of being.

you don’t just see through illusion - you mock it, devour it, and fuck with it.

while most people hide in the back row of the battle, you charge the front lines, armor in hand, ferocity oozing from your pores, cackling like a woman who knows she cannot die.

you love to stir the pot.

you were born to ferociously burn down what was never real, laugh and false gods and make love to their ashes.

9. you often find existence itself to be absolutely absurd and tragically hilarious

for you, life has been utterly tragic and breathtakingly beautiful all at once. so much so that often the only thing left to do is laugh at how magnificently deranged this all this.

when life keeps crucifying you and giving you ecstatic revelations in the same breath, you either become a poet or a clown. sometimes both.

you are a walking paradox of beauty and horror, tragedy and comedy, softness and rage. life keeps splitting you open and still, you laugh. sometimes laughter is your only prayer.

sometimes being a total fool for life is the only sane thing left to do.

10. you want REAL, TANGIBLE power and you realize that shit ain’t coming from a man

you have spent too much of your life hoping to be “chosen” by making yourself smaller and safer and sexier and sweeter, all in service to the illusion that being loved by a man would make you whole.

but something in you is waking up and starting to scream and gnaw. you are realizing how you have been conditioned to see yourself as some princess hidden away in a tower eternally waiting for prince charming to rescue you. meanwhile your real life passes you by and your true power rots inside of you.

you’re remembering that your power is not a gift that is given to you by proximity to a man, but rather a birthright that comes from your relentless devotion to resurrect what has been deemed forbidden.

you may still ache to be seen or loved, but you have begun the great de-centering of men, where your life no longer orbits around a man’s gaze. halle-fucking-lujah!!!

you want to build power that is so real and sovereign and undeniably yours —

not the kind that can be taken away as soon as you’re no longer the princess that waits, but the queen, the head bitch that claims.

11. you experience shame, intimately

you have been shamed for your power, shamed for your desire, shamed for the way your body moves through the world.

and sometimes this makes you collapse.

but if you sense deeper, you might notice that there is a secret, subtle thrill you get from feeling utterly humiliated.

shame does not own you. it is a sign you have entered forbidden territory.

and most people turn back at this point.

choose to wear it like a crown and ride it like a beast into the cold dark night instead.

12. you feel that you were born to turn false prophets into stone

you see through spiritual performance, performative masculinity and femininity, guru egos, and poison that looks polished on the outside. you have a very accurate bullshit meter, even though you sometimes still let yourself be gaslighted out of it.

you spot lies behind smiles and have probably dated one too many parasitic narcissistic personalities.

you have an innate sense of integrity, deep empathy, and are disgusted by people who wear masks, exploit others, or are just fake as fuck while pretending they are not.

13. you live for beauty. bad aesthetics feel like a violation to your soul

you believe beauty is a necessity. fluorescent lights, lackluster color palettes, and a lack of creative care aren’t just style choices for you. bad aesthetics literally kill your soul. you legit feel offended by them, they feel like a violation to your very existence.

you live for things with character and depth, that reflect uniqueness and splendor and have attention to detail.

you want the lush, the lived-in, and can only tolerate environments that feed your desire to be immersed in beauty.

14. you are a walking contradiction

you are rage and tenderness and sacred and irreverent and beautiful and hilarious and serious and welcoming and intimidating and loving and bitchy all in one given day

you have spent YEARS trying to “figure yourself out” only to realize that you are NOT meant to be resolved.

you love yourself one day and loathe yourself the next. you crave solitude and ache for devotion. you want to be worshipped and also left the fuck alone.

and still, you are whole.

not despite the contradiction but because of it.

you were never meant to walk straight lines.

you are far too mythic for that.

you are not a problem to be fixed or solved.

you are Mystery to be experienced.

15. you are a SAVAGE lover

you are the opposite of a half-assed lover. you don’t do lukewarm. nope. no thanks.

you love passionately, violently and with all of yourself or not at all.

you despise the casual, the indifferent, the dull passivity of “let’s just see where this goes.”

you want to merge entirely. to devour and be devoured.

sex is one of the few places on the planet where you feel free to become the animal that you are and be worshipped for it.

you are not a casual woman.

flesh is your church and your death and your salvation all at once.

there are many things to be loose and lazy with in this life, and to you, love ain’t one of em.

16. you are here to create something that outlives you

you have big, prophetic visions for your life. you think this means you’re delusional and just have a messiah complex. this is a lie.

you are not interested in just surviving your pain. you must turn it into gold. into purpose. into creation. into art. into power.

there is something inside of you that refuses to stay quiet or static. it bleeds through your body and onto the page, the stage, the screen, the canvas.

you are not only healing, you are also building.

there is something you are here to birth, something big, something ancient, something that only you can create, and you will NOT die with it still inside you.

that would be your biggest regret.

if you do not create, you feel like you will die.

and maybe you’re right.